这是我勇敢的故事， 愚蠢的朋友，哈里·迪恩 MAN: - This is the story of my brave, foolish friend, Harry Deane.
迪恩先生的工作 作为一种艺术馆长在伦敦 Mr Deane's work as an art curator in London
走了，他觉得， 在很大程度上受到重视。 had gone, he felt, largely unappreciated.
他告诉我，无数的侮辱 遭受其雇主的手中， He told me of countless insults suffered at the hands of his employer,
梅西Shabandar， 传媒大亨，艺术收藏家 Lionel Shabandar, media tycoon, art collector
和绝对野蛮的家伙。 and an absolute brute of a fellow.
不要碰我的人。你！ Do not touch my person. You!
是的，我的主？ 傻瓜！给我你的引导。 - Yes, my lord? - Idiot! Give me your boot.
40年前， 我把这种现象称之为Shabandar的CAD。 40 years ago, I'd have called this Shabandar a cad.
现在通行的说法 这种类型的家伙 Now the prevailing parlance for a fellow of this type
是的，我相信，shitbag。 is, I believe, shitbag.
您好！ Hello.
这该死的东西是无法运作。 This bloody thing is not operational.
嗯，好，那是因为， 我相信，我的主... MAN: Ah, well, that's because, I believe, my lord...
因为你相信什么， 你蒸TURD吗？ Because you believe what, you steaming turd?
现在他有他的复仇 Now he would have his revenge,
迪恩先生有一个计划。 for Mr Deane had a plan.
是宏伟的，抢劫。 To be grandiose, a heist.
是准确的，有点的偷窃。 To be accurate, a bit of a thieving.
这是我走了进来。 This is where I came in.
我，你看， 一个相当有能力伪造艺术品。 I am, you see, a rather capable forger of fine art.
我很高兴我的小嗜好 可能证明使用他。 I was pleased my little hobby might prove of use to him.
该计划依赖于固定的援助 1 PJ Puznowski。 The plan relied on securing the aid of one PJ Puznowski.
“寻找这个Puznowski，”迪恩先生告诉我， "Find this Puznowski," Mr Deane told me,
都会掉落很好的地方。 and it would all fall nicely into place.
对不起。 据我们了解 Excuse me. We were given to understand
有一个马术锦标赛 在该地区。 that there was an equestrian tourney in the area.
好了，我们得到了法律的律师， Well, we got a law attorney,
不知道他的宗教， 高达市中心的高山。 don't know his religion, up downtown Alpine.
他是一个童话。 He's a fairy.
从阿尔伯克基迁到这里， Moved here from Albuquerque,
这将是五年，没有， 六年前，来月。 it'll be five, no, six years ago, come May.
这并不是说我的判断。 Not that I judge.
非常有趣的，但有 一场比赛的一些说明 How terribly interesting, but is there a tournament of some description
各种粗暴的举动呢？ with various rowdy goings-on?
粗糙骑， 野马破坏之类的事情。 Rough-riding, bronc-busting sort of thing.
这是一个竞争。 的测试技能农场动物。 It's a competition. A test of skill involving farm animals.
yippee的AI-耶。 Yippee-ai-yay.
(CHEERING)
好吧，佩科斯！ ANNOUNCER: Alright, Pecos!
这是西方的佩科斯圈地， 具有美国的头号球队， This is the West of the Pecos Rodeo, featuring America's number-one team,
与Tim Lepard队连续乘坐“魔鬼迈步” 和他的牛仔猴。 Team Ghostrider with Tim Lepard and his cowboy monkeys.
往前走，苏丝！去'！ Go on, Suzie! Go get 'em!
它给你带来的查理 晚安，所有这些善良的人 And it's brought to you by Charlie Goodnight and all those good people
下来查理晚安 实现'N'饲料。 down at Charlie Goodnight's Implements 'n' Feed.
让我们把双手合十 猴子们！ Let's put some hands together for the monkeys!
先出的滑道 是下来的PJ Puznowski从Terlingua的方式。 And first out of the chute is PJ Puznowski from down Terlingua way.
有。 There.
要去尝试把一根绳子罗德尼 从懒惰大号镰刀Y酒吧农家。 Gonna try to put a rope around Rodney from the Lazy L Sickle Y Bar Ranch.
而且，朋友们， 罗德尼是不，会是heppin“任何。 And, folks, Rodney ain't gonna be heppin' any.
这是11.7 PJ Puznowski！ That's 11.7 for PJ Puznowski!
那是她的。 好吧，睡衣！ - That's her. - Alright, Jammies!
♪ If you wanna go
♪ Let's go rodeo
♪ If you wanna rock
是什么让你这么肯定 她会是游戏吗？ What makes you so certain she'll be game?
天哪，她的作品在家禽 最低工资的加工厂。 Good God, she works in a poultry processing plant for minimum wage.
你以为她会打开这个？ 多少钱你会告诉她吗？ - You think she'll turn this down? - How much are you going to tell her?
正象她需要知道。 Just as much as she needs to know.
这是很好的。 WOMAN: That's nice.
这是主要的奈杰尔·纳尔逊·温盖特， 国王的非洲步枪，已退休。 This is Major Nigel Nelson-Wingate, King's African Rifles, retired.
星期天画家。 主席女士。 - Sunday painter. - Madam.
现在，一个简单的问题是， HARRY: Now, the simple question is,
你会怎样想使 50万英镑的英镑？ how would you like to make half a million pounds sterling?
我有一个小的计划。 I have a little plan.
异性恋者吗？ Straight?
有一个好的一天，先生。 闭嘴。 CHAUFFEUR: - Have a good day, sir. - Shut up.
对不起，先生。 血腥的地狱，男人，一定要小心！ - Sorry, sir. - Bloody hell, man, be careful!
Shabandar媒体。 WOMAN: Shabandar Media.
我不知道你可能批准这最后的 适合骑马和狩猎的照片布局。 I wonder if you might approve this last photo layout for the Horse and Hunt.
有什么问题吗，先生？ Is there a problem, sir?
史莱辛格，给我一个放大镜。 Slazenger, give me a loupe.
干草堆，黄昏。 Haystacks, Dusk.
给我哈利·迪恩。 Get me Harry Deane.
老人给我打电话。 Old man just called me up.
是的，他在等你。 Yes, he's expecting you.
不，不，不。 哦，我很抱歉，先生。 LIONEL: - No, no, no. - Oh, I am sorry, sir.
什么？进来。 让他们证明它尽可能快。 What? Come in. Have them proof it quick as possible.
我们将尝试并获得到下个月的。 迪恩，坐了下来。 We'll try and get it into next month's. Deane, sit down.
一起来看看这些。 Have a look at these.
我已经派出了飞机 收集这个女人。 I've sent the plane to collect this woman.
在大约一个小时到达希思罗机场。 你会去接她。 Arrives at Heathrow in about an hour. You'll pick her up.
有趣的。哦，我明白了，这幅画。 Interesting. Oh, I see, the painting.
的重现，不过，在我看来。 血腥的地狱。依据是什么？ - A reproduction, though, in my opinion. - Bloody hell. Based on what?
论的事实，即它的悬挂 在墙壁上的一个大篷车，先生，在得克萨斯州。 On the fact that it's hanging on the wall of a caravan, sir, in Texas.
是的，正是。 这是谁的车队，你木板吗？ Yes, precisely. But whose caravan, you plank?
女牛仔，先生。 Puznowski，迪恩。 - The cowgirl, sir. - Puznowski, Deane.
PJ Puznowski。想想看，男人。 PJ Puznowski. Think, man.
你这个愚蠢的混蛋，什么东西！ You stupid bastard, what!
欢迎来到伦敦。 HARRY: Welcome to London.
在我们把你扔 成厚厚的， Before we throw you into the thick of it,
我应该给你一个位 的历史。 I should give you a bit of the history.
莫内的干草堆。 Monet's Haystacks.
9月15日，1891年，在 的过程中一个非常富有成效的一天， On September 15th, 1891, during the course of one very productive day,
主印象派 the master Impressionist
完成了两个投资收益及其他投资收益的绘画： finished two oii paintings:
“干草堆，黎明”， “干草堆，黄昏”。 "Haystacks, Dawn", "Haystacks, Dusk".
“干草堆，黎明”被交易 其中包括各种私人收藏家 "Haystacks, Dawn" was traded amongst various private collectors
多年来。 over the years.
“干草堆，黄昏”上展出 在巴黎JEU DE Paume的。 "Haystacks, Dusk" was put on display in Paris at the Jeu de Paume.
即， 直到1941年在纳粹占领。 That is, until the Nazi occupation of 1941.
“干草堆，黄昏” 被运走Carinhall中， "Haystacks, Dusk" was carted off to Carinhall,
私人住宅 空军元帅赫尔曼·戈林， the private residence of Air Marshal Hermann Göring,
正待在他的眼里只有。 for the delectation of his eyes only.
1945年，Carinhall溢出 巴顿将军的军队的第一部， In 1945, Carinhall is overrun by the first division of Patton's army,
大红色的。 the Big Red One.
点排LED 警长布莱恩“斗牛犬”Puznowski， The point platoon is led by Sergeant Brian "Bulldog" Puznowski,
Kilgore，德克萨斯州的杀手。 the Killer of Kilgore, Texas.
你的祖父。 Your grandfather.
对于未来67年， 干草堆的下落，黄昏 For the next 67 years, the whereabouts of Haystacks, Dusk
已经证明了艺术世界的 最诱人的奥秘。 has proved one of the art world's most tantalising mysteries.
什么是这一切Shabandar？ And what is all this to Shabandar?
一个人的丰厚的胃口 巨大的热情， A man of outsized appetites and enormous enthusiasms,
并没有几个怪癖; 一个狂热的裸体主义者，一个很好的例子。 and no few eccentricities; an avid nudist, a case in point.
由于他可观的财富 我不是微不足道的知识， Owing to his considerable fortune and my not inconsiderable knowledge,
他收集 最重要的收藏 he has assembled the most important collection
印象派杰作 在私人手中。 of Impressionist masterpieces in private hands.
该奖项？干草堆，黎明。 The prize? Haystacks, Dawn.
20年前，在拍卖会上收购 在意气风发招标。 Acquired at auction 20 years ago in spirited bidding.
申办与绅士 在走道上。的出价是800万英镑。 The bid is with the gentleman on the aisle. The bid is £8 million.
天哪。 我有八年和一季度。 MAN: - Good heavens. - I have eight and a quarter.
申办与绅士 在我的左边。 The bid is with the gentleman on my left.
对你的出价是的，先生。投标 是8和25万英镑。 The bid is against you, sir. The bid is eight and a quarter million pounds.
Shabandar推出 他的竞争的冲动进了一个球 Shabandar rolled all his competitive impulses into a ball
和击败他的对手， 晃Takagawa。 and outbid his great rival, Akira Takagawa.
他购买了画 英镑11万美元。 He purchased the painting for £11 million.
其拥有一个仅仅有 吊起他的胃口的。 His ownership of the one has merely whet his appetite for the other.
多年来，Shabandar 一直在寻求干草堆，黄昏 For years now, Shabandar has been seeking Haystacks, Dusk
与激情 近乎于偏执狂。 with a passion bordering on monomania.
当他看到那张照片， When he saw that photograph,
Shabandar进行自己的 你的家族病史调查。 Shabandar conducted his own investigation into your family history.
最好让鱼 工作在自己的钩，嗯，主要？ Best to let the fish work the hook in himself, eh, Major?
许多最好的，迪恩先生。 Much the best, Mr Deane.
他将要谈判 价格与你同在。 He will want to negotiate the price with you.
你必须坚持在12万元。 You must stick at 12 million.
英镑。 Pounds.
他会支付的， 不管多少他抗议。 He'll pay it, no matter how much he protests.
要坚定。要有礼貌，但公司。 Be firm. Be polite, but firm.
他会尝试你的魅力。 他会尽量给你印象最深的。 He will try to charm you. He will try to impress you.
女士Puznowski！ 他将尝试... LIONEL: - Ms Puznowski! - He will try to...
一种荣誉！欢迎，欢迎。 An honour! Welcome, welcome.
画在画廊，男人。 Painting in the gallery, men.
我知道一个Koznowski一次， 迷人的男人，我想没有任何关系。 I knew a Koznowski once, charming man, no relation I suppose.
男爵Koznowski。相当的马术。 人有马血在他的血管。 Baron Koznowski. Quite the equestrian. Man had horse blood in his veins.
这样一来，请。 This way, please.
好吧，让我们来看看，好吗？ Right, let's take a look, shall we?
流于形式，当然。 Mere formality, of course.
哦，是的。 Oh, yes.
所以...... So...
你怎么想的，迪恩？ What do you think, Deane?
是的，我会需要一些时间，先生。 哦，是的。相当。 - Yes, I'll need a few moments, sir. - Oh, yes. Quite.
您可能没有意识到这一点， 女士Puznowski， LIONEL: You may not realise it, Ms Puznowski,
但哈利·迪恩知道莫奈 想我知道... but Harry Deane knows Monet like I know...
其实，我什么都不知道 很喜欢。 Actually, I don't know anything quite like that.
艺术家使用了一个光地 真正莫奈的习惯。 The artist has used a light ground true to Monet's habit.
是非常有限的调色板， 没有黑色或褐色。 The palette is very limited, no blacks or browns.
蓝蓝色和镉黄 以实现他的破色。 Cerulean blue and cadmium yellow to achieve his broken colour.
而不同的是令人心碎的欺诈行为 行为的奥地利人， And unlike the heartbreaking fraud perpetrated on the Austrians,
签名是正确的。 the signature is correct.
这是莫奈，它确实是非常不错的。 It is Monet and it is very fine indeed.
而且，迪恩先生， 是我不够好。 And that, Mr Deane, is good enough for me.
我们讨论的条款吗？ Shall we discuss terms?
(WHIRRING)
系统布防。 WOMAN: System armed.
系统布防。 System armed.
你好，小猫。 (MEOWS) - Hello, kitty.
你的工资。 Your wages.
50万元和回家的车票。 第一类，当然。 £500,000 and your ticket home. First class, of course.
不，不，不。不，不，不。 请，不要感谢我们。 No, no, no. No, no, no. Please, do not thank us.
这是主要的，我应该是 感谢你的修养， It is the Major and I who should be thanking you for the self-possession,
良好的幽默感和锐气 你打你的小，但重要组成部分。 the good humour and the élan with which you played your small but vital part.
嗯，少校？ 听，听，先生。乔利很好的发挥。 - Eh, Major? - Hear, hear, sir. Jolly well played.
我们应该到达 在希思罗机场在短短几分钟。 HARRY: We should be arriving at Heathrow in mere minutes.
先生迪恩。 MAJOR: Mr Deane.
先生迪恩？先生迪恩。 Mr Deane? Mr Deane.
不应该告诉她 任何不止于此。 Shouldn't have to tell her any more than that.
没错。 但你必须跟她说话。 Quite right. But you will have to talk to her.
嗯。 Hmm.
早在闪光灯。 Back in a flash.
迪恩先生，他的所有人才， 是给一个特定的缺陷。 MAJOR: Mr Deane, for all his talents, was given to one particular flaw.
他看到世界 如他所愿看到它。 He saw the world as he wished to see it.
但是，正如我们所知道的，是一个乐观主义者简直是 一个人谁没有听说过这个消息。 But, as we know, an optimist is simply a man who hasn't heard the news.
由于我的时间在非洲步枪 教过我， As my time in the African Rifles had taught me,
一个忽略了房间里的大象 在一个人的危险。 one ignored the elephant in the room at one's peril.
半万英镑。 半万... Half a million pounds sterling. Half a million...
您好！ 我相信那位女士说迷路了。 - Hello. - I believe the lady said get lost.
我将采取的矮胖1！ MAJOR: I'll take the chunky one!
想打开一罐whup屁股 现在对你。 MAN: Gonna open a can of whup-ass on you now.
少校，老天的份上， 只是温柔。 Major, for heaven's sake, just be gentle.
我想... 不，这就够了。 - I'm trying to get... - No, that's enough.
这些人是野蛮人。 其他国家，其他海关。 - Those people are barbarians. - Other countries, other customs.
我们如何去满足这个女人吗？ 我记得有一天晚上，在博茨瓦纳... - How are we going to meet this woman? - I remember one night in Botswana...
她的四周 由一个克鲁马努瑞士的卫队。 She's surrounded by a Cro-Magnon Swiss Guard.
这是没有计划的，主要的。 我们要回到计划如何？ This wasn't the plan, Major. How are we going to get back on plan?
您的男孩OK，是吧？ You boys OK, huh?
面仍然在正确的方法可以解决？ Faces still on right ways round?
是的，谢谢你。 所有在场的和正确的。 Yes, thank you. All present and correct.
我道歉梅尔。 他就喜欢大吵大闹。 PJ: I do apologise on Merle. He just loves a brawl.
鼻子被打破了这么多次， 他已经取出的软骨 Nose been broke so many times, he had the cartilage taken out
这样就不会被停机时间 间酒吧打架。 so there wouldn't be downtime between bar fights.
一个权宜之计，我们可能会考虑 如果我们花更多的时间在得克萨斯州。 An expedient we might consider if we spend much more time in Texas.
高度浩，朋友。 我不会推荐它。 Heigh ho, friend. I wouldn't recommend it.
我谨提请您注意的事项 这给我们带来了这里来接你吗？ May I draw your attention to the matter which brought us here to meet you?
当然。 Sure.
所以你说 这是类似$ 800,000美国？哇！ PJ: So you're saying that's like $800,000 American? Wow!
我们没有钱。 HARRY: We don't have the money yet.
但它要去工作了，对吗？ 只要我们停留在计划。 PJ: - But it's gonna work out, right? HARRY: - As long as we stay on plan.
听起来你真的想 坚持这个家伙。我们在这里。 PJ: Sounds like you really wanna stick it to this guy. Here we are.
里面是一个男人，重达半吨。 (MAN ON TV) Inside is a man who weighs half a ton.
迈克尔叉抬起抬上担架 逆戟鲸运输。 Michael was fork-lifted onto a stretcher for transporting killer whales.
丢脸！丢脸！ Shame! Shame!
嘿，奶奶的！好了，好了，在这儿呢。 你们随便挑。 Hey, Grandma! Alright, well, here it is. Take your pick.
大量的可供选择的墙。 早晨好。 - Plenty of walls to choose from. - Good morning.
太胖了！ Too fat!
主要的，如果你想设置 您的相机在那里。 Major, if you'd like to set your camera up over there.
或许，如果你的祖母 将移到了一会儿。 Perhaps if your grandmother would move over for a moment.
奶奶梅尔，这些漂亮的人 想拍照，这里的房子。 Grandma Merle, these nice people wanna take a picture here in the house.
每个人都在此状态下梅尔？ Is everyone in this state named Merle?
你去那里。 我的上帝。她是不舒服吗？ - There you go. - Good God. Is she unwell?
哦，不，她很好。 奶奶梅尔咀嚼。 Oh, no, she's fine. Grandma Merle just chews.
Puznowski小姐，你能滑动 一点点接近你奶奶吗？ Ms Puznowski, could you slide a little closer to your grandmother?
准备好，女士们？笑一笑。 Ready, ladies? Say cheese.
确凿的事实， 诚实的报告。 Shabandar。 WOMAN: Hard facts, honest reporting. Shabandar.
他的门，而坚决关闭 在那一刻。 His door is rather firmly shut at the moment.
你愿意等待吗？ 是的，谢谢你，我会等着你的。 - Would you care to wait? - Yes, thank you, I'll wait.
梅西Shabandar 解释他的成功方程式 WOMAN: Lionel Shabandar explains his formula for success
在他的惊人的 新自传“我”。 in his startling new autobiography, "Me".
欢迎来到丛林中。 我们在这里是为了帮助你减少通过... Welcome to the jungle. We're here to help you cut through...
哼！ Huh!
Shabandar媒体。创建... Shabandar Media. Creating...
向右走，迪恩。 Go right in, Mr Deane.
爵爷... 是，狄尔尼？ - Your lordship... LIONEL: - Yes, Deane?
这是一个非常漂亮的西装，先生。 That's a very nice suit, sir.
什么？ 什么也没有。 - What? - Nothing.
我翻阅提前 马和亨特的一天。 I was leafing through the advance on the Horse and Hunt the other day.
布局页。 为什么在地球上，你这样做吗？ - The layout pages. - Why on earth were you doing that?
好了，事实上，它是... 那么，为什么是忸怩作态？ Well, as a matter of fact, it's... Well, why be coy?
这是一个简单的解释， 就这么简单，其实，我... It's a simple explanation, so simple, in fact, that I...
嗯，这是我最喜欢你的... 您的出版物的，先生。 Well, it's my favourite of your... of your publications, sir.
我们的出版物 在这里Shabandar媒体。 Our publications here at Shabandar Media.
不希望夸大的东西， 我会说这可能是我最喜欢的... Without wanting to overstate things, I would say it may be my favourite...
出版以往任何时候都没有... 资格的Shabandar媒体， publication ever, without the... qualification of Shabandar Media,
等，等。 et cetera, et cetera.
你会骑吗？ 天哪，没有。 - Do you ride? - Good God, no.
也就是说，我骑了。 That is, I have ridden.
一个生日派对。他们有小马。 小的设得兰矮种马。 A birthday party. They had ponies. Little Shetland ponies.
我们沉重地周围 在花园里转了一圈。 We traipsed around in a circle in the garden.
当时的我，哦，六，七十岁。 I was, oh, six, seven years old.
这是我的朋友 鲍比蒙田的生日派对。 It was my friend Bobby Montaigne's birthday party.
他现在是一个语言病理学家。 He's a speech pathologist now.
好，我记住它。 留下了深刻的印象，先生。 And how well I remember it. Made a deep impression, sir.
是不是有什么我可以帮忙的吗？ 是的，先生，是有的。谢谢。 - Is there something I can help with? - Yes, sir, there is. Thank you.
你看，我悄悄提前偷看， 正如我所说，在马和狩猎。 You see, I snuck an advance peek, as I said, at the Horse and Hunt.
我感到震惊，特别是 由一块这PJ Puznowski上， I was struck most particularly by the piece on this PJ Puznowski,
德克萨斯马人。 the Texan horse person.
女骑手， 不是的突变体或一个神秘的生物。 Equestrienne, not a mutant or a mythical creature.
人们想象的那样......好，怀抱 一个女人和后躯... One imagines a... well, the bosom of a woman and the hindquarters of...
你碰巧看到了吗，先生？ 是。 - Did you happen to see it, sir? - Yes.
我被一个特定的图片。 I was struck by one particular picture.
干草堆，黄昏。 Haystacks, Dusk.
是。没错，先生。 一种再生的，当然。 - Yes. Exactly, sir. - A reproduction, of course.
真的吗？你这么认为吗，先生？ 根据在什么地方，如果我可以问吗？ Really? You think so, sir? Based on what, if I may ask?
基于这样的事实，它被挂在 墙上的血腥大篷车在得克萨斯州。 Based on the fact that it was hanging on the wall of a bloody caravan in Texas.
还有的是。 There is that.
就这些吗？ 是的，先生。 - Is that all? - Yes, sir.
谢谢。 Thank you.
但是我们应该检查一下，做研究吗？ 我可以把一份备忘录。 But shouldn't we check, do research? I could put together a memo.
你的备忘录之一，是的。 这幅画是复制，所以很少 - One of your memos, yes. - The painting is so rarely reproduced,
我什至不知道 如果我见过的再现。 I don't even know if I've seen a reproduction.
这是非常不协调的， 挂，因为你慧眼独具小心... And it's the very incongruity of it, hanging, as you so discerningly...
不错。环这个女人起来 问她是否有一个原始莫奈 Fine. Ring this woman up and ask if she has an original Monet
在得克萨斯州Shitbird，在墙壁上。 on the wall in Shitbird, Texas.
他咬，我们有点腥？ 他不上钩。 MAJOR: - Did he bite, our little fishy? - He's not hooked yet.
但他盘旋的诱饵。 不知道我跟着你，老东西。 - But he's circling the bait. - Not sure I follow you, old thing.
他看到了画 和他的研究兴趣。 He's seen the painting and he's considering being intrigued.
考虑吗？ 考虑是，是的。 - Considering? - Considering being, yes.
女孩在哪里？ 在达拉斯的一家酒店。 - Where's the girl? - In a hotel in Dallas.
为什么是她在达拉斯的酒店吗？ 的护照办公室有。 - Why is she in a hotel in Dallas? - The passport office is there.
事实证明，亲爱的女孩的 从来没出过的国家。 It turns out that the dear girl's never been out of the country.
现在，通常情况下，一本护照需 8个星期，但他们可以加快。 Now, ordinarily, a passport takes eight weeks, but they can expedite.
支付两百磅， 他们将赶到一起。 Pay a couple of hundred pounds, they'll hurry it along.
这是很不错的。 几百。 That's very nice of them. Couple of hundred.
对。 Right.
您的文章，迪恩先生。 Your post, Mr Deane.
这是很了不起的，是不是？ HARRY: It is extraordinary, isn't it?
嗯，这是非常有趣的，如果你要 是正确的。 Well, it's very amusing if you should turn out to have been right.
我到这里来游玩的，先生。 所以，我们带她吗？ I am here to amuse, sir. So shall we bring her in?
是谁？ 女牛仔，先生。 PJ Puznowski。 - Who? - The cowgirl, sir. PJ Puznowski.
她的祖父，而这一切 证实了美国的军事记录， Her grandfather, and all this confirmed in the US military records,
斗牛犬Puznowski。 Bulldog Puznowski.
是的，是的，我读了备忘录， 但为什么我会带她吗？ Yes, yes, I read the memo, but why would I bring her in?
如果画的是真实的 如果她想卖， If the painting is real and if she wants to sell it,
我当然不希望让自己看起来 过度的渴望。不，不，不，不。 I certainly don't want to seem overly eager. No, no, no, no.
她打电话，告诉她 如果她发现自己在伦敦， Ring her up and tell her if ever she finds herself in London,
我很高兴能开出 几分钟聊天。 I'd be happy to carve out a few minutes for a chat.
让她投资 在这笔交易中脱落。 Let her invest in the deal coming off.
我明白了，先生。它的辉煌。 废话，狄尔尼。这是基本的。 - I see, sir. It's brilliant. - Nonsense, Deane. It's elementary.
宝勒巷。 WANKER。 - Prat. - Wanker.
无限制的经济舱票价。 这就是他们所谓的，先生。 HARRY: - Unrestricted economy fare. - That's what they call it, sir.
当然，他们用“经济” 一定的松动。 Of course, they use the word "economy" with a certain looseness.
松动？这是一个积极的飞跃 诗意的想象。 Looseness? It's a positive leap of the poetic imagination.
非常好的，先生。说得好。 Very good, sir. Well put.
不过，我们不能指望我们的便士。 哦，不，先生。 - Still, we can't count our pennies. - Oh, no, sir.
不数以百万计在酝酿之中。 Not with millions in the offing.
在那里，她是。 很高兴见到你。你照顾。 - There she is. - Great to meet you. You take care.
嘿，伙计们！您好！ Hey, boys! Hi!
哇。这是一个非常舒适的飞行。 Wow. That was a very comfortable flight.
优秀。欢迎来到伦敦。 Excellent. Welcome to London.
谢谢。哦，谢谢你，少校。 Thank you. Oh, thank you, Major.
是的，仍持有。 Yes, still holding.
看不到她的呢？今天任何时间吗？ Can't see her today? Any time today?
在一天结束的时候，他能看到她吗？ 需要用不了多长时间。 At the end of the day, could he see her? Needn't take long.
不，我明白了。不，我明白了。 No, I understand. No, I understand.
对。的欢呼声。 Right. Cheers.
(RHYTHMIC THUDDING)
嘿！这是困扰着你？ Hey! Is this bothering you?
不尽然。 Not at all.
我要泡茶喝。 OK。 - I'm going to make some tea. - OK.
你有什么挂在这里吗？ 你说什么？ - What you got hanging here? - Sorry?
在墙上。这是莫奈？ On your wall. Is this a Monet?
小心点。 Careful.
阿尔弗雷德·西斯莱。他们是同时代的人。 Alfred Sisley. They were contemporaries.
这是他的儿子，皮埃尔。 It's of his son, Pierre.
男孩是十点的时候，我想。 The boy was ten at the time, I think.
当然是很小的。 Sure is small.
它花了我一个荒谬的数额的金钱。 我宁愿把一个洞。 It cost me a ridiculous amount of money. Rather put me in a hole.
我喜欢它。 I like it.
这是很好的。 It's nice.
这是非常美丽的。 It's very beautiful.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
早晨好。 你知道这是什么时候，伙计？ - Good morning. - You know what time it is, mate?
是的，主席诺尔斯。这只是未来... Yes, Mr Knowles. It's just coming...
早上好。 Morning.
嘘。来吧，醒了。 现在，他可以看到我们。 PJ: Psst. Come on, wake up. He can see us now.
创建和分发消息， 体育和娱乐。 WOMAN: Creating and distributing news, sports and entertainment.
来吧，让我们去。 这是一个有丛林。 PJ: - Come on, let's go. WOMAN: - It's a jungle out there.
世界各地的媒体的最大份额。 The lion's share of the world's media.
Shabandar。听到我们的轰鸣声。 Shabandar. Hear us roar.
(LION ROARS)
让我来说话。 当然。 HARRY: - Let me do the talking. PJ: - Sure.
女士Puznowski。 Ms Puznowski.
你好。 很高兴认识你。 - Howdy. - Delighted to meet you.
天哪，迪恩。 你发生了什么事？ Good grief, Deane. What happened to you?
表达的家伙在酒吧 为马蒂斯，塞尚的偏好。 A fellow in the pub expressed a preference for Matisse over Cézanne.
必须设置他直。 我是在开玩笑，当然。 Had to set him straight. I'm joking, of course.
爱马蒂斯。使用的颜色。 Love Matisse. Use of colour.
不，弯腰捡东西， 书架上的方式。你好，番号。 No, bent down to pick something up, bookshelf in the way. Hello, bango.
那么，我们坐在什么地方？ So, shall we sit?
所以，你是怎么找到伦敦吗？ So, how do you find London?
好了，大家都知道 的答案，那一个。 Well, everybody knows the answer to that one.
你右转格陵兰。 You turn right at Greenland.
的确如此。你在哪里住？ Indeed. And where are you staying?
呃，好，其中一人， 企业风险管理，市中心的大酒店。 Er, well, one of them, erm, big hotels downtown.
我不记得它的名字。 你还记得吗，哈利？ I can't remember the name of it. You remember, Harry?
诺。 我也不知道。 - Connaught. - Me neither.
但它是一个大的。 本诺。 - But it's one of them big ones. - The Connaught.
我们谈到的Connaught酒店。 We spoke about the Connaught Hotel.
这是一个愚蠢的名字。 工作人员似乎很可以做的。 That's a stupid name. Staff seems pretty can-do.
你肯定干诺吗？ LIONEL: You certain about the Connaught?
你说什么？ 这是正常的，我想。 - Sorry? - It's fine, I suppose.
但我会打几个电话， 在开胃菜，让我们的朋友。 But I'll make a few calls, get our friend in at the Savoy.
我更喜欢它。 主席先生，真的没必要。 - I much prefer it. - Sir, there's really no need.
让他做吧，哈利。我敢肯定， 该服务是有很多好了。 Let him do it, Harry. I'm sure the service is plenty good there, too.
好任何地方，我认为， 如果你得到了DO-RE-MI。 Good anywhere, I reckon, if you got the do-re-mi.
我不介意炮轰。 And I don't mind shelling it out.
我想哈利在这里告诉你 此画我的目标卸载。 I guess Harry here told you about this here painting I'm aiming to unload.
女士Puznowski认为，在光 的先例价值的一块... Ms Puznowski feels that in light of the precedential value of the piece...
你几乎没有她的经纪人，迪恩。 LIONEL: You're hardly her agent, Deane.
不管怎样，她Puznowski似乎 完全有能力表达自己。 And anyway, Ms Puznowski seems perfectly capable of expressing herself.
嗯，是的，先生。 PJ: - Well, yes, sir. (CHAIR BANGS)
是的，先生。英语是我的母语。 Yes, sir. English is my mother tongue.
但你不会因为有到MS Puznowski我。 But you don't have to Ms Puznowski me.
不，你可以叫我PJ。或睡衣。 No, you can call me PJ. Or Jammies.
这是我的圈地手柄。 或者何绮文，这是我的真实姓名。 That's my rodeo handle. Or Philomena, which is my real name.
嗯，谢谢你，PJ。 你可以叫我梅西。 Well, thank you, PJ. And you may call me Lionel.
让我们希望做生意 直呼其名的基础上 Let's hope doing business on a first-name basis
将有利于直言进谏 和清醒的认识。 will be conducive to plain speaking and clear understanding.
阿门，梅西。 Amen to that, Lionel.
好吧，那么，让我们开始吧。 Well, then, let's get to it.
我想12000000英镑 此图片。 I want £12 million for this here picture.
的6000万吨 如果我克隆我的数学。 That's 6,000 tons if I've clone my math right.
也许你想扔 一个漂亮的4×4长途， And maybe you'd like to throw in a nice four-by-four to haul it off in,
与一个自动变速箱，CD甲板 渐变色的挡风玻璃上。 with an auto tranny, a CD deck and graduated tint on the windshields.
请和谢谢你。 Please and thank you.
嗯，这是了不起的， 告诉我，PJ， Well, that's marvellous, and tell me, PJ,
是什么让你觉得 这幅画价值12000000英镑？ what makes you think this painting is worth £12 million?
那么，梅西，首先，它的油。 是不是，哈利？ Well, Lionel, first off, it's oil. Ain't it, Harry?
事实上，该介质是油， 它的出处是大有可为的。 Indeed, the medium is oil, and its provenance is promising.
不过，我希望把它带到你的 乡间别墅，把它比作其队友。 But I would like to take it to your country house to compare it to its mate.
它是被运吗？ 抵日（星期二）。 LIONEL: - Is it being shipped in? - Arrives Tuesday.
你可以跑不起来的房子。 LIONEL: You can run it up to the house.
我们要看看吧 在晚会上周三。 We'll take a look at it at the gala on Wednesday.
你以前从未去过的房子。 不，先生，没有。 I. .. - You've never been to the house. - No, sir, no. I...
我有一个年方 起来的房地产。 LIONEL: I have an annual party up at the estate.
这听起来不错。这是另一回事 我得到了有利于我的。 That sounds nice. That's another thing I got going in my favour.
你有这其他的干草堆， You've got this other Haystacks,
该名男子是不是搅'时间了， 他虽然死了，一个'。 and the man ain't churning 'em out, what with his being dead an' all.
所以，看起来就像如果你想设置的， 我给你买的短期和花括号。 So, looks like if you want the set, I got you by the short and curlies.
我不认为这是一个情况 一方试图制服。 I don't think it's a situation of one party trying to subdue the other.
废话。这是一个很高兴做生意 人谁知道她的位置 Nonsense. It's a pleasure doing business with someone who knows her position
能够清楚地将它设置。 and is able to clearly set it out.
不幸的是，我有 另外有个约会11点。 Unfortunately I have another appointment at 11 o'clock.
不过，我相信这是值得追求的。 But I believe this is worth pursuing.
让我们来看看，如果我们可能无法找到 一些共同点。 Let's see if we mightn't find some common ground.
为什么，谢谢你。一位绅士。 Why, thank you. A gentleman.
谢谢。 Thank you.
我休息了一天预订 我有一个商业晚宴。 I'm booked the rest of the day and I have a business dinner.
但一想到发生在我。也许 你可能会对我的晚餐伴侣。 But a thought occurs to me. Perhaps you might be my dinner companion.
我们希望有时间谈，你可能会 甚至帮我的业务问题。 We'd have time to talk and you might even help me with a business matter.
谢谢。这将是令人愉快的。 Thank you. That would be delightful.
不要打扰自己，迪恩。 我敢肯定，PJ，我可以处理的事情。 Don't bother yourself, Deane. I'm sure PJ and I can handle things.
要进谏。 To plain speaking.
是的，先生。 下降。 - Yes, sir. - Going down.
我们说八点钟好吗？ 当然。 - Shall we say eight o'clock? - Sure.
接你吗？ Pick you up at...?
The Savoy酒店。 为什么不呢？ - The Savoy. - Why not?
当我开车，他们两个 在伦敦最昂贵的酒店， MAJOR: As I drove the two of them to the most expensive hotel in London,
我非常女士Puznowski的。 I was rather taken by Ms Puznowski.
她的振兴缺乏的礼仪 眉飞色舞我年轻的自我。 Her invigorating lack of decorum would have enraptured my younger self.
不过，对于成功执行 的计划， Still, for the successful execution of the plan,
先生，迪恩将需要一个坚定的手 带她入行。 Mr Deane would require a firm hand to bring her into line.
我不否认 我怀疑他的手腕的力量。 I won't deny I doubted the strength of his wrists.
我不认为 我要提醒你，我， HARRY: I don't think I need to remind you, do I,
的后果 客房服务？ of the consequences of room service?
嗯。 这个地方是荒谬的昂贵。 PJ: - Uh-huh. - This place is absurdly expensive.
好吧，这是你的想法。 Well, this was all your idea.
不是你的就住在这里。 这不是我的错也没有。 - Not your actually staying here. - It's not my fault neither.
我们告诉他，我们的故事，无论是 我们保持的bamboozlement铺设 We told him our story and either we keep laying on the bamboozlement
或者我们不妨 它打包回家。 or we might as well pack it in and go home.
Mamacita！我敢打赌，这个地方有电缆。 Mamacita! I bet this place has cable.
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
主要给了我一个抹布擦干 The Major gave me a rag to dry this
好神， 我相信它有它的发动机油。 and, good God, I believe it has motor oil on it.
您好！你有一个单间？ Hello. Do you have a single room?
非常，非常小的。微小的，其实。 只是一个晚上。 Very, very small. Tiny, in fact. Just for one evening.
当然可以，先生。我只是来看看。 Certainly, sir. I'll just take a look.
甚至整个晚上一定。 我们可以用它来... Not even the whole evening necessarily. We could just use it for...
我们相当包围在 此刻，先生。 We are rather hemmed in at the moment, sir.
今天晚上我所看到的是一个非常 舒适的套房，俯瞰河流。 All I see for this evening is a very comfortable suite overlooking the river.
我们会接受它。 We'll take it.
等一等。什么是关税？ Hold on. What's the tariff?
胡斯，如果你要去镍和角钱 我，我们可以调用这整个事情。 Hoss, if you're gonna nickel-and-dime me, we can call this whole thing off.
我开始有第二个想法。 为什么你有第二个想法呢？ - I'm beginning to have second thoughts. - Why would you have second thoughts?
有道德的问题。对与错。 There's moral issues. Right and wrong.
什么我的妈妈说： What would my momma have said
如果她看到我欺骗人 你和你的小主要？ if she saw me deceiving somebody with you and your little Major?
主要取得了相当混乱。 这真是尴尬。 The Major has made quite a mess here. It's really embarrassing.
难道你不觉得有点惭愧吗？ 我不是远程惭愧。 PJ: - Don't you feel a little ashamed? - I'm not remotely ashamed.
只要运行。 主席先生，我已经有了。 - Just run that through. - Sir, I already have.
似乎有一个问题，这 卡。也许你已经超过了极限。 There seems to be a problem with this card. Perhaps you've exceeded the limit.
血腥的地狱。好吧，试试...这 是错误的。尝试美国运通。 Bloody hell. Alright, try the... This is a mistake. Try the American Express.
我不知道为什么，我很担心。 你是不是到了。 I don't know why I worry. You ain't up to it anyway.
您或主要的。 主要是相当的能力。 - You or the Major. HARRY: - The Major is quite capable.
好了！ 什么？笑什么？ (LAUGHS) Well! - What? What's the laugh for?
嘲笑的主要？ 他比你更好的处理。 Laughing at the Major? He's handled better than you.
他一直在任意数量 粘点和退出。 He's been in any number of sticky spots in and out.
如果您选择播放忸怩作态 这在游戏中后期， Should you choose to play coy this late in the game,
主要会引起 the Major would be aroused
我可以不承担任何责任 所造成的后果。 and I could not be held responsible for the consequences.
从我所看到的， 没有什么会引起重大。 From what I've seen, ain't nothin' gonna arouse the Major.
非常好的，先生。 这一个工作出色。 Very good, sir. This one worked brilliantly.
你在这里。这是344房。 There you are. That's room 344.
今天晚上，这是非常重要的 留在主题。保持公事公办它。 This evening, it is very important to stay on topic. Keep it businesslike.
这名男子是不高于混合 专业的个人 The man is not above mixing the professional with the personal
得到他想要的东西。 应该是指的是什么？ - to get what he wants. - What's that supposed to mean?
不要让我说。 这名男子是...嗯，他是一个CAD。 Don't make me say it. The man is... Well, he's a cad.
他的东西。 他排除了我从你的小日期。 He's up to something. He excluded me from your little date.
地狱，也许我不介意被诱惑， 追逐一个多亿万富翁。 Hell, maybe I don't mind being seduced, chased after by a multi-zillionaire.
我不知道， 没有听起来那么可怕。 I don't know, that don't sound so terrible.
什么是堕落的观点。 男人的钱，让他有吸引力的吗？ What a depraved point of view. The man's money makes him attractive?
是啊。妈妈总是叫 金钱和礼仪 Yeah. Momma always called money and manners
猪肉和豆类的个性。 the pork and beans of personality.
真是一个奇怪的女人。 我们那里。 344，对吧？ - What an odd woman. - There we are. 344, right?
我求求你， 不要滥用迷你吧。 And I beg you, do not abuse the minibar.
是... Is that...
天哪！ Good God!
这是一个明。 哈利。 - It's a Ming. PJ: - Harry.
键。 Key.
(PJ LAUGHS)
这是你的身边。 这是一个真正的好车，莱昂内尔。 - That's your side. - This is a real nice car, Lionel.
这是更好的比我的房子。 的确如此。 - It's nicer than my house. - Indeed.
你归类为豪华轿车呢？ PJ: Would you classify this as a limo?
好吧，我想你可以。 LIONEL: Well, I suppose you could.
Shabandar。 Shabandar.
是。很高兴见到你。 Yes. Good to see you.
马丁Zaidenweber， 这是PJ Puznowski。 Martin Zaidenweber, this is PJ Puznowski.
这是她吗？它是如此高兴见到你。 见到你，这是非常好的。 - This is her? It's so nice to meet you. - It's very nice to see you too.
你高兴能在伦敦吗？ 我太兴奋了。这是我的第一次。 - Are you excited to be here in London? - I'm so excited. It's my first time.
“不！”不，来吧。 No! No, come on.
现在，我已经听说过这幅画。 我的意思是，一个故事。 Now, I have heard about this painting. I mean, what a story.
几乎令人难以置信。几乎令人难以置信。 Almost incredible. Almost incredible.
我想它会是不错的 你们两个满足。 I thought it'd be good for you two to meet.
马丁将检查你的画。 Martin will be examining your painting.
他会牧师 我的私人收藏。 He's going to curate my private collection.
JA。 Ja.
哇。我想， 哈利。 Wow. I thought that that's what Harry did.
就目前而言， 但该名男子是一个有点白痴。 For the moment, but the man's a bit of an idiot.
难道你不觉得吗？ 不，不，不，Shabandar。 - Don't you think? - No, no, no, Shabandar.
不哈利是个好人。 No. Harry is a good man.
没有太多的眼睛，但一个好人。 Not much of an eye, but a good man.
我五年董事 孔斯特在科隆博物馆。 I am for five years a director of the Kunst Museum in Köln.
UND在此之前，我策划的集合 男爵的Thyssen-Bornemisza博物馆。 Und before that I curated the collection of Baron Thyssen-Bornemisza.
但男爵的集合是... 浓密的佛兰芒语。 But the Baron's collection is... heavily Flemish.
提香，鲁本斯， 所有的女人，所以saftig UND heftig。 Titian, Rubens, all the women, so saftig und heftig.
我的意思是，你可以花多少 在瓦隆，是吧？ I mean, how many years can you spend looking at the Walloons, huh?
不管怎样，现在我更喜欢印象派画家。 Anyway, now I prefer the Impressionists.
和我现在考虑 作为对莫奈的头号人物。 Und I'm now considered as the top man on Monet.
再说了，你的英语 有相当不错的，马丁。 Say, your English is pretty darn good there, Martin.
我的意思是，有人 从德国的国家。 I mean, for someone from the country of Germany.
哦，谢谢你。那么， 我说八种语言流利。 Oh, thank you. Well, I speak eight languages fluently.
和我熟悉互联网，但你必须 是这些天来，你不觉得吗？ Und I'm internet-savvy, but you have to be these days, don't you think?
我摘下鸡， 所以我是不是有很多的呼叫 I pluck chickens, so there ain't a lot of call for me
疲惫周围 tweetin“和bloggin”。 to be traipsing around tweetin' and bloggin'.
JA，J?。 Ja, ja.
我不熟悉这个表达式， “我摘下鸡”。 I'm unfamiliar with this expression, "I pluck chickens".
无论如何，告诉我这个了不起的事情。 Anyway, tell me this remarkable thing.
这幅画被挂 总是在你的房子， This painting was hanging always in your house,
自从你还记得， 即使作为一个小的仁慈吗？ ever since you can remember, even as a little kinder?
是的。 Yep.
哼！ Hmm!
血腥的地狱。 Bloody hell.
所以，哈里在他的屁股上，是吧？ 哈利，就像你说的，出他的屁股上。 - So, Harry's out on his butt, huh? - Harry is, as you say, out on his butt.
他是一个有点令人失望，真的。 He's a bit of a disappointment, really.
东西有点绝望 有关的男子。 Something a little desperate about the man.
我不知道。 有点腥，有点弱。 - I don't know. - A little shifty, a little weak.
没那么聪明。 Not that bright.
我喜欢看男人的眼睛， “莱昂内尔Shabandar，怎么办怎么办？” I like to look a man in the eye, "Lionel Shabandar, how do you do?"
“这是我应该什么。 你喜欢的吗？“只要有它。 "This is what I should like. What do you fancy?" Just have out with it.
这是比较容易，当 你很有钱，可以调用所有的镜头。 It's easier to live up to that when you're rich and can call all the shots.
性格测试在许多方面。 金钱给自己带来的负担。 Character is tested in many ways. Money brings its own burdens.
你，我敢肯定，将通过每一个测试。 迪恩，我不知道。 You, I'm certain, will pass every test. Deane, I don't know.
我想，也许 你只是没有足够深。 PJ: I think maybe you're just not looking deep enough.
像妈妈说的，如果你能不能告诉 猪和野猪之间的差异， Like Momma said, if you can't tell the difference between a pig and a javelina,
好了，你可能会失去一个大的块 从你的屁股。 well, you could lose a big old chunk out of your ass.
的确如此。 Indeed.
迪恩先生是一个骄傲的人 在一个困难的时刻。 MAJOR: Mr Deane was a proud man in a difficult moment.
他的信用已耗尽， 他的库房附近空， His credit exhausted, his coffers near empty,
他被迫考虑 孤注一掷的措施。 he was forced to contemplate desperate measures.
然而，他可能允许无缝隙 出现在计划中。 Yet he could allow no chink to appear in the plan.
此外，尽管看起来，他的同谋 我们可以说，不完美的，... And though his accomplice might seem, shall we say, less than perfect,...
..他会保持控制。 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) - ..He would maintain control.
这些时刻 试图人的灵魂。 These are the moments that try men's souls.
所以今天晚上是他的贵族身份如何？ So how is His Lordship this evening?
他... 没有问题吗？ - He's... - No problems?
他不是粗鲁或欺负，我希望。 不，他很有礼貌。 - He wasn't rude or bullying, I hope. PJ: - No, he was polite enough.
嘿，哈利，你在做什么 你的宿舍吗？ Hey, Harry, what are you doing with all your quarters?
这些，夫人，英镑和便士， 没有宿舍。 These, madam, are pounds and pence, not quarters.
只要把我的一切。 哈利·迪恩，你挖掘出来呢？ - Just putting my affairs in order. - Harry Deane, are you tapped out?
几乎没有。我这样做定期 因此，必须使用的jar。 Hardly. I do this periodically so as to have use of the jar.
我包包里的硬币 的款项捐赠给慈善机构。 I bag the coins and donate the proceeds to charity.
嗯。 Uh-huh.
茶？ Tea?
那么，我们站在一起 我们的小事，计划，方案？ So where do we stand with our little affair, scheme, programme?
你知道吗，伙计， 我不认为这是要去工作了。 You know, hoss, I don't think it's gonna work out.
什么？废话。 一切都按计划进行。 What? Nonsense. Everything's going according to plan.
我们有绘画， 或，所以Shabandar认为。 We have the painting, or so Shabandar believes.
而我，我的亲爱的， 该轻信布布的信心。 And I, my dear, have that credulous boob's confidence.
在规划上，难道你不明白吗？ On plan, don't you understand?
好吧，那么，我想这只是我 第二个想法，然后。 Well, then, I guess it's just me having second thoughts, then.
第二个想法？那么， 这是一个有点晚了，年轻的姑娘。 Second thoughts? Well, it's a little late for that, young lady.
年轻的女士不要我，伙计。 难道你不HOSS我，小姐。 - Don't young lady me, hoss. - Don't you hoss me, young lady.
这是什么。 That is it.
我已经投入了数千英镑 在我们这个小跳跃， I have invested thousands of pounds in this little caper of ours,
更何况，谁拥有的主要 画他的心，他的灵魂，他的胆量 not to mention the Major, who has painted his heart, his soul, his guts
进入他的伪造的干草堆，黄昏。 into his forgery of Haystacks, Dusk.
你叫少校，告诉他你 第二个想法，你的愚蠢的小... You call the Major, tell him about your second thoughts, your silly little...
这是什么呢？ 脚冷，道德疑虑呢？ What is it anyway? Cold feet, moral qualms again?
是的，这是它的一部分。 Yeah, that's part of it.
此外，该名男子 是一个冷血，无情的欺负。 Besides, the man is a cold-blooded, heartless bully.
我忽然想到，他是相当迷人。 迷人？ - I happen to think he's quite charming. - Charming?
他是一个彻底的爬行动物的迷人， 令人厌恶的方式。弹性地迷人。 He's charming in a thoroughly reptilian, repulsive way. Repulsively charming.
但你看不到他的举止 完全是人造的。 But you fail to see his manners are completely ersatz.
我知道你是幼稚和省级... I knew you were naive and provincial...
而看着你， 垃圾在说'我的来历！ And look at you, trash-talkin' my origins!
我尊重你的起源， 您的整个双宽的生活方式， I respect your origins, your entire double-wide way of life,
但它确实让你容易受到... but it does leave you vulnerable to...
让我脆弱吗？我不知道 如何告诉你，哈利。 Leaves me vulnerable? I don't know how to tell you this, Harry.
但是，你被解雇了。 哦，我被解雇了？ - But you're fired. - Oh, I'm fired?
是的。 非常有趣的。 - Yep. - Very amusing.
让我提醒你，谁运行 这个小企业，夫人。莫伊。 Let me remind you who's running this little enterprise, madam. Moi.
而这正是你被解雇的人！ 除非你不是。 And it is you who are fired! Except you're not.
在线索当然，当我已验证 少校的美丽的工作，那么， In clue course, when I have authenticated the Major's beautiful work, then,
然后，我们将讨论 终止您的就业 then we shall discuss the termination of your employment
来一定的了解 and come to some understanding
如何承担责任 你的可笑费用。 as to how to bear the onus of your ridiculous expenses.
错了，伙计。错，错，错了。 Wrong, hoss. Wrong, wrong and wrong.
你被解雇，由Lionel， COS，他告诉我，hisself。 You are fired, by Lionel, cos he told me hisself.
他向我介绍了一些 ？heinie，马丁Zaidenweber， He introduced me to some stuck-up heinie, Martin Zaidenweber,
谁是你的工作 who's getting your job
你会不会被认证 你愚蠢的老干草画。 and you won't be authenticating your dumb old hay painting.
所以我回去的萨沃伊 住了一晚 So I'm going back to the Savoy to stay the night
我可能只是命令 一些冲浪'N'草皮。 and I might just order up some surf 'n' turf.
明天我要去德州， 我的工作的鸡厂。 And tomorrow I'm going to Texas, get my job back at the chicken plant.
这不是没有我的错 It ain't no fault of mine
你的整个繁琐的计划 刚去blooey。 that your whole cockamamie scheme just went blooey.
哼！ Hmm!
(HARRY GRUNTS)
Zaidenweber。 - Zaidenweber. (KNOCKING AT DOOR)
嗯。这是一个有点晚 现在道歉。 Hmm. It's a little late to apologise now.
这怎么可能呢？ Zaidenweber。 How could he? Zaidenweber.
该男子是一名...诚然，他知道 他的办法解决的瓦隆人。 The man is a... Admittedly he knows his way around the Walloons.
但是，当涉及到印象派画家， 该名男子是一个没有希望的无知。 But when it comes to the Impressionists, the man is a hopeless ignoramus.
这将是可笑的 如果不是实际上是危险的。 This would be comical if it weren't actually dangerous.
我指的不只是我的鼻子， I refer not just to my nose,
这个时候我恐惧 可能是很好，真正打破。 which this time I fear may be well and truly broken.
也许是因为我们的小跳跃 还远远没有结束， Perhaps since our little caper is far from over,
或许我们应该考虑 除去软骨。 perhaps we should consider removing the cartilage.
不要屁股。我几乎没有可能 在面对第三次被击中。 Don't be an ass. I'm hardly likely to be hit in the face a third time.
这是第三次了，先生。 That was the third time, sir.
这不是一个数学类。 This isn't a maths class.
我们有什么打算怎么办 Zaidenweber谁，一经录用， What are we going to do about Zaidenweber who, once hired on,
是不会进行身份验证 我们的愚蠢的老干草画吗？ is not going to authenticate our dumb old hay painting?
也许，少校，你可以不 力争到中和他 Perhaps, Major, could you not contrive to neutralise him
简单地用... 好了，有枪的某种吗？ simply with a... well, with a gun of some sort?
的前端拧入带有消音器 的事情，桶吗？ With a silencer screwed onto the tip of the thing, the barrel there?
先生迪恩。 嗯？ MAJOR: - Mr Deane. - Hmm?
太多了吗？不，你是对的， 这是太古怪了。 Too much? No, you're right, it's too outlandish.
我会采取照顾Zaidenweber。 I'll take care of Zaidenweber.
更紧迫的是我们如何得到 我们的流氓大象 More pressing is how do we get our rogue elephant
出来的最昂贵的酒店 在伦敦吗？ out of the most expensive hotel in London?
哦，呃，对不起，先生。我还没有完全得到 的诀窍。 Oh, er, sorry, sir. I haven't quite got the knack of this.
她是一个没有远见的人，主要。 She is a person without vision, Major.
她看不到的计划， 这样她就不会相信在计划中。 She cannot see the plan, so she will not believe in the plan.
即时满足的是她的 临时办法，纪律一个肮脏的词汇。 Instant gratification is her modus vivendi, discipline a dirty word.
有什么东西 她非常清爽。 There's something awfully refreshing about her.
有一些令人耳目一新 陷入冰浴 There's something refreshing about being plunged into an ice bath
并鞭打桦树开关。 and flogged with a birch switch.
哦，是的，良好的鞭笞。 Oh, yes, good flogging.
局长奥尔加，Pennypockets里， 三楼的后方。 Madam Olga, Pennypockets Lane, third floor to the rear.
(MOBILE RINGS)
是吗？ 马丁？ - Yeah? HARRY: - Martin?
JA，这是马丁Zaidenweber的，JA。 马丁，这是哈里。 - Ja, this is Martin Zaidenweber, ja. - Martin, it's Harry.
哈利Trinkwasser？ 不，哈利·迪恩，要求从伦敦。 - Harry Trinkwasser? - No, Harry Deane, calling from London.
科隆怎么样？ 科隆？ - How's Cologne? - Köln?
哦，J?！科隆是...好，没有那么糟糕。 Oh, ja! Köln is... is good, not so bad.
当然，我在科隆。 你赶上我在我的健身房。 Of course, I'm in Köln. You catch me at my gym.
践行体育文化。我很高兴地 shvitzing走公斤，你知道吗？ Practising physical culture. I am gaily shvitzing away the kilos, you know?
我们打的heftiness！ We have to fight the heftiness!
呵呵，绝对是。 Oh, absolutely.
你看，我知道这看起来会 一点点出来的蓝色， Look, I know this will seem a little out of the blue,
它有点尴尬地说 and it's sort of embarrassing to say,
但我打电话问 如果你可能有一个工作即将发售。 but I'm calling to ask if you might have a job on offer soon.
工作？ 我会是免费的。 - Job? - I'm going to be free soon.
我吻Shabandar。 I'm about to kiss Shabandar off.
你会吻他吗？ 退出，是的。 - You will kiss him off? - Quitting, yes.
颇为尴尬， 但Shabandar的问题。 Rather embarrassing, but Shabandar's having problems.
业务问题。 Business problems.
有传言，他为自己建造了 有点纸牌做的房子。 Rumour has it he's built himself a bit of a house of cards.
A卡的房子？ 是啊。 - A card house? - Yeah.
就在上周， 我的工资支票并没有明确。 Just last week, my pay cheque didn't clear.
晚上好。 晚上好，先生。 - Good evening. - Good evening, sir.
我们可以为你做什么？ 好吧，我检查我的朋友。 - What can we do for you? - Well, I'm checking my friend out.
可爱的房间。 她很喜欢她的住宿。 Lovely room. She's quite enjoyed her stay.
但我可以额外支付授权 而我的信用卡。 But I can authorise no further payments against my credit card.
因此，我们将不得不 把她扔在她的耳边。 So we're going to have to throw her out on her ear.
其实... 给她老升沉豪。 - Actually... - Give her the old heave-ho.
袋包装，出在人行道上。 Bags packed, out on the pavement.
其实，主席先生，这些收费已经 假设今天下午的4:17 Actually, sir, those charges have been assumed as of 4:17 this afternoon
另一方。 by another party.
事实上，我相信她一直 上升到一个高级套房。 In fact, I believe she has been moved up to a senior suite.
高级套房。 Senior suite.
她一直上升到... 该死的是谁？ She's been moved up to... Who the bloody hell...?
主Shabandar 称为循环。你只是错过了他。 RECEPTIONIST: Lord Shabandar called round. You just missed him.
他留下了年轻的女士 在晚上穿。 He left with the young lady in evening wear.
嗯。 ASSISTANT: Hmm.
晚装？ 是的，先生。 - Evening wear? - Yes, sir.
相当惊人的。 的确如此。 - Quite striking. - Indeed.
他的贵族身份的礼物。 RECEPTIONIST: A gift from His Lordship.
不错。优秀。好，好，然后。 Fine. Excellent. Well, good, then.
不过，我会很高兴 关闭您的帐户。让我看看。 RECEPTIONIST: But I'd be happy to close out your account. Let me see.
收费积累 今天晚上之前... Charges accumulating prior to this evening...
是的，我们在这里。 Yes, here we are.
这将是两个握手，先生。 It'll just be two shakes, sir.
是怎样的... 主要今天晚上，先生？ How is the... the Major this evening, sir?
嗯？ 主要的。 - Hmm? - The Major.
他是正常的，我想。 He's alright, I suppose.
看起来像一个忙碌的小家伙。 这么少，我敢大胆。 - Seems like a busy little fellow. - Not so little, I would hazard.
他失去了最近有点重量。 He's lost a bit of weight recently.
半退休了。 这是一个遗憾，先生。 - Semi-retired now. - That is a pity, sir.
至少它的...半。 嗯。 - At least it's... semi. - Hmm.
(PRINTER BEEPS)
离开美国运通 卡，是我们吗，先生？ Leaving that on the American Express card, are we, sir?
是的，谢谢你。 Yes, thank you.
(PRINTER BEEPS)
现在，今天晚上的任务 是相当简单的。 Now, the task this evening is quite straightforward.
在上世纪80年代，日本跑的世界 The Japanese ran the world in the '80s
和我的朋友Takagawa 拧我十几次。 and my little friend Takagawa screwed me a dozen times.
那么，现在的启动是在另一只脚上。 Well, now the boot is on the other foot.
因此，它是一种像一场旗鼓相当的比赛。 So it's kind of like a grudge match.
他还生气 我打了他干草堆，黎明。 He's still pissed off that I beat him to Haystacks, Dawn.
现在，如果我能得到他的走狗卖给我 他们的220个电视频道， Now, if I can get his lackeys to sell me their 220 television channels,
我成为世界第三大供应商 在整个亚洲溢价电缆 I become the third largest provider of premium cable in the whole of Asia
和Shabandar狮子 终于可以在日本的轰鸣声。 and the Shabandar lion can finally roar over Japan.
您好！好日，Shabandar。 Hello. Good day, Mr Shabandar.
我是你的解释器 从Konichiwa传媒集团。 I am your interpreter from Konichiwa Media Group.
我是Chuck。 很高兴认识你。 - I am Chuck. - Delighted to meet you.
这是女士何绮文Puznowski。 This is Ms Philomena Puznowski.
你好。 Hi.
您好！今天好。我是你的解释器 从Konichiwa传媒集团。 Hello. Good day. I am your interpreter from Konichiwa Media Group.
我是Chuck。 I am Chuck.
这是，先生Katsuhara赵。 This is Mr Katsuhara Cho.
非常强大的大个子 Konichiwa传媒集团。 Very powerful big man of Konichiwa Media Group.
我目前的MR Shabandar 女士Puznoskusam。 I present Mr Shabandar and Ms Puznoskusam.
奇妙。 (LAUGHS) - Marvellous.
我认为我们将刚拿起的名字 因为我们走，不是吗？ I think we'll just pick up the names as we go along, don't you?
这是一个很高兴见到你所有。 对我来说，“双。 - It's a pleasure to meet you all. - And that goes double for me.
正如我所说， 这样的晚宴是困难的。 As I said, these dinners can be difficult.
不要担心。 这些家伙看起来很无害的。 Don't worry. These guys seem pretty harmless.
他们是邪恶的小妈。 看我粉碎他们。 They're evil little shits. Watch me crush them.
它发生在我，我怕 我把我的眼镜在房间里。 It occurs to me, I'm afraid I left my glasses up in the room.
难道......关键还是工作 对我来说跑起来看看吗？ Would it... Would the key still work for me to run up and have a look?
你戴着它，先生。 这些，可以肯定，是的。 - You're wearing them, sir. - These, to be sure, yes.
不，我的意思是我其他的眼镜， 我的远用眼镜。 No, I mean my other glasses, my distance glasses.
距离。 Distance.
我送你们的另一个关键先生。 I'll run you another key, sir.
呵呵。 Huh.
(MAID BELCHES)
(LOCK CLICKS)
该死的！ Bloody hell!
您好！ Hello!
这是额外弗鲁姆，弗鲁姆通道。 This is Extra Vroom-Vroom channel.
针对人们喜欢汽车。 嗯。 - Aim at people love car. - Hmm.
这是额外的逆戟鲸通道 This is Extra Killer Whale channel
喜欢看鲸鱼的人 吃其他的人。 for people like watch whale eat other people.
十点钟后，非常受欢迎。 嗯。 - Very popular after ten o'clock. - Hmm.
这是我们的青年通道。 This is Let's Young channel.
对于十几岁的磨损头发额外的疯狂， For young teenage wear hair extra crazy,
喝清酒，晚上在街头，呕吐。 drink sake all night, puke in street.
结合观众Konichiwa电视， Combined viewer for Konichiwa TV,
42百万，我想。 42 millions, I think.
是。 是的，是的，非常令人印象深刻。 - Yes. - Yes, yes, very impressive.
当然， 我熟悉的数字。 Of course, I'm familiar with the figures.
(SPEAKS JAPANESE)
但是...... - However... (SPEAKS JAPANESE)
我的报价是该组 以英镑，而不是日元。 ...my offer for the group was made in pounds sterling, not yen.
但最近兴起的货币 相对于英镑 But the recent rise of your currency relative to the pound
会提高我的成本完全10％， would raise my cost fully ten percent,
而且，先生们， 我从来没有承担的义务 and that, gentlemen, is an obligation I never undertook
不建议现在进行。 and do not propose to undertake now.
在山上有雪 在冬季 There is snow on the mountains in the winter
该名男子，在绝望中， and the man, in despair,
不能走路的一个山谷。 cannot walk to the next valley.
但在春天，冰雪融化 But in spring, snow melts
记得在安宁。 and is remembered in tranquillity.
对。当然，OK，我给你。 Right. Sure, OK, I got you.
是的，看到的，我觉得大男人在这里 是想告诉你的是 Yeah, see, what I think the big man here is trying to tell you is
他可能是艰难的价格 一个真正的狗娘养的，到现在为止， he may have been tough on the price and a real son of a bitch until now,
但如果你样的聚会，打倒他 所以他不丢人， but if you kind of party down with him so he don't lose face,
也许things'll走你的路。 maybe things'll go your way.
但他不是说直 出来，看起来像一个懦夫，对不对？ But he ain't about to say it straight out and look like a wimp, right?
如果你真的想要 黄油这些男孩， If you really wanna butter these boys up,
你应该邀请他们 你的房子。 you ought to invite them all out to your house.
你知道，打破了一些面包，马诺马诺。 You know, break some bread, mano a mano.
“EM的盛会， 你为什么不呢？ Have 'em out for the gala, why don't you?
也许你是对的。 Maybe you're right.
天哪，真是无聊。 God, what a bore.
不能这样非常困难。 Can't be so terribly difficult.
只有一只脚的... Just one foot...
...前面另一方面。 ...in front of the other.
让我们一起去跳舞！ MAN: Let's go dancing!
(LAUGHTER)
(RIPPING)
哦，SOD。 Oh, sod it.
你是一个位的一个奇迹。我希望 你会留下来，即使在盛大。 You're a bit of a marvel. I hope you'll stay on, even after the gala.
我可以用别人 你的素质。 I could use somebody with your qualities.
哦，我想我在那个品质。 Well, I guess I got qualities at that.
那你做什么，：女士Puznowski。 你怎么做。 That you do, Ms Puznowski. That you do.
为了皮特的缘故，这时候我觉得 你真的试图让我醉了， For Pete's sake, this time I think you really are trying to get me drunk,
米酒所有。 with all that rice wine an' all.
那么，为什么不呢？ 没有更多的业务今天晚上。 Well, why not? No more business this evening.
这是一个严格的社会的一部分 的一天。 This is a strictly social part of the day.
让我们下来，你可能会说， 我相信我们吗？ Let's get, as you might say, down, I believe, shall we?
说有更多的时间，请。 让我们来认真研究。 - Say that one more time, please. - Let us get down.
哦，我管不着。 Oh, bugger me.
那么，梅西， 今晚是真实的，真正的乐趣。 Well, Lionel, tonight was real, real fun.
这听起来像过去一样紧张。 That sounds like the past tense.
该... The...
烂婊子！ Bloody tart!
嗯，这似乎有 所需的效果。 Well, that seems to have had the desired effect.
我的裤子。 My Pants.
我血淋淋的裤子！ My bloody trousers!
梅西，你知道， 这是没有的地方... Lionel, you know, this ain't the place to be...
废话。 Nonsense.
这正是酒店是。 This is precisely what hotels are for.
在树上！ In the tree!
出租车！ 我血淋淋的裤子！ MAN: - Taxi! - My bloody trousers!
当我试图输出热吻 血腥的执行计划的。 Out snogging about when I'm trying to bloody stay on plan.
这是荒谬的。 This is absurd.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
(DOOR OPENS)
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
晚上好，夫人。 我感到十分抱歉。 Good evening, madam. I am terribly sorry.
明天晚上的基洛夫芭蕾舞团 完全售罄 Tomorrow evening's Kirov Ballet is quite sold out
这是最后一场表演。 and it's the last performance.
哦，我的！ 是。 WOMAN: - Oh, my! ASSISTANT: - Yes.
我们尝试樱桃园 约克公爵？ Shall we try The Cherry Orchard at the Duke of York's?
是的，让我们的。 可爱的。 - Yes, let's. ASSISTANT: - Lovely.
可爱的。还只是一个... 一票吗？ Lovely. Still just the one... the one ticket?
是的，只是一个。 可爱的。请你。 - Yes, just the one. ASSISTANT: - Lovely. As you please.
有一个非常美好的夜晚。 是的，我会尝试。 - Have a very nice evening. - Yes, I shall try.
直背到床上。我的丈夫 不到位，直到周四。 Straight back into bed. My husband doesn't arrive until Thursday.
当然，夫人。 它必须看起来像一个永恒的。 (CLEARS THROAT) Of course, madam. It must seem like an eternity.
有。 There.
(FARTS LOUDLY)
花瓶。 The vase.
只是咬下来的一些冰。 Just nipping down the hall for some ice.
(LIFT BELL RINGS)
您可以飞行的私人， 但你仍然需要花时间。 LIONEL: You can fly private, but you still have to take the time.
这就是为什么你需要这样一个地方， 打下你的困倦头。 That's why you need a place like this to lay your sleepy head.
哦，快看。我们在这里。 Oh, look. Here we are.
我们在这里。好了，谢谢！ 护送我，梅西。 Here we are. Well, thanks for escorting me up, Lionel.
我很tuckered， 所以我也许应该只是... I'm pretty tuckered out, so I should probably just...
废话。让我们的睡帽。 什么？ - Nonsense. Let's have a nightcap. - What?
睡帽，这是代码，真的， 多一点谈话 A nightcap, that's code, really, for a bit more conversation
然后...谁知道？ 呃...... - and then... who knows? - Er...
嗯... 我让你不舒服。 - Well... - I'm making you uncomfortable.
也许另一个时间。 哦，不，这很好。 - Perhaps another time. - Oh, no, that's fine.
晚上，我们应该这样做，所以在这里我们去。 让我们去。您第一。 We should do it tonight, so here we go. Let's go on in. You first.
你在做什么？ 什么？ WHISPERS: - What are you doing? WHISPERS: - What?
晚上，他狄尔尼。 晚报。 - Evening, Mr Deane. - Evening.
嘿，你的屁股在这里。来吧。 Hey, get your butt in here. Come on.
相当广泛酒吧。 你有什么？ LIONEL: Quite the extensive bar. What are you having?
让我想想。 我会在那里。 Let me think about it. I'll be right there.
你在这里做什么？ 你的裤子在哪里？ WHISPERS: What are you doing here? Where are your pants?
挂在楼下树。 你在做什么与Shabandar？ Hanging on the tree downstairs. What are you doing with Shabandar?
他们说什么？ They're what?
挂在楼下树。 Hanging on the tree downstairs.
天哪，我很难把它 更明白地说！ Good God, I can hardly put it more plainly!
有苏格兰威士忌，金酒，野格利口酒... LIONEL: There's Scotch, gin, Jägermeister...
你为什么要挂你的裤子 在一棵树吗？ Why would you hang your pants in a tree?
这是不是圣诞节。 我没有把它们挂在那里。 - It ain't Christmas. - I didn't hang them there.
你为什么还要邀请Shabandar 您的房间吗？ Why did you invite Shabandar to your room?
你的狂欢冲动 我知道没有任何限制吗？你一直在喝酒。 Do your orgiastic impulses know no limits? You've been drinking.
如果我想有一个睡帽， 我的饮酒年龄和投票年龄 If I wanna have a nightcap, well, I am of drinking age and voting age
和年龄的同意。 and the age of consent.
而且我可以有我想要的人 我的房间， And I can have anyone I want up to my room,
因为你不支付 没有更多的反正。 cos you ain't paying for it no more anyways.
什么？你嫉妒吗？ 吃醋吗？别傻了。 - What? Are you jealous? - Jealous? Don't be absurd.
香槟冷却。 Champagne cooling.
你或你滑倒 更平易近人的东西吗？ Are you coming out or are you slipping into something more approachable?
是的，就是这样。 PJ: Yeah, that's it.
所有的羞耻感 是真正萎缩。 All sense of shame is well and truly atrophied.
不仅你并不想掩饰 您的肆意行为... Not only do you not seek to disguise your wanton behaviour...
我的行为？你为什么不先来吗？ My behaviour? Why don't you go first?
为什么是你，那窗沿上， 是什么在花瓶 Why were you out on that ledge, what was in that vase
为什么你的裤子 挂在树上吗？ and why are your pants hanging in a tree?
你是一个非常可疑的人，真的。 有没有插在花瓶里。 You're a very suspicious person, really. There was nothing in the vase.
至于它的其余部分，则是参与， 但不像你的诡计， As for the rest of it, it is involved, but unlike your shenanigans,
有一个合理的规划 管理我的行为。 there's a sensible plan governing my behaviour.
嫉妒。我的上帝。 准备好或不 - Jealous. Good God. LIONEL: - Ready or not,
在这里，我一定要来。 here I have to come.
我需要使用的厕所。 I need to use the lavatory.
不过，我会尊重你的谦虚。 But I shall respect your modesty.
(DOOR CLOSES)
我不认为你可以冲下来 我的裤子？ I don't suppose you could dash down and get my trousers?
你可以离开这里，哈利·迪恩。 你去让自己的该死的裤子。 You get out of here, Harry Deane. You go get your own damn trousers.
好了，非常感谢。 Well, thanks a lot.
所以你不要有任何冰，然后呢？ 什么？ - So you don't have any ice, then? - What?
你说什么？ LIONEL: - What did you say? (TOILET FLUSHES)
你说什么？ LIONEL: What did you say?
我们有没有冰？ 不，不是香槟。 GRUFFLY: - Do we have any ice? LIONEL: - No, not with champagne.
哈利。哈利。 WHISPERS: Harry. Harry.
哈利。 这是正常的。我已经练习了。 - Harry. - It's alright. I've practised.
你体面的吗？ 我要出来了。 LIONEL: Are you decent? I'm coming out.
我从来没有告诉过你，有我， 的故事的Shabandar狮子？ I've never told you, have I, the story of the Shabandar lion?
(GROWLS)
哦！ WANKER。 Oh! Wanker.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
(DOOR OPENS)
运气，夫人。左一票 樱桃园。 Stroke of luck, madam. One ticket left for The Cherry Orchard.
第三排的摊位，靠过道的座位。 啊，太好了。 - Third row in the stalls, aisle seat. - Ah, wonderful.
锦绣。 为你的书，通俗易懂。 Splendid. Book that for you straightaway.
哦，那是它在哪里。对不起。 Oh, that's where it is. Excuse me.
家政服务。 Housekeeping.
晚上，他狄尔尼。 Evening, Mr Deane.
有时候我在想，如果他们喝。 Sometimes I wonder if they drink.
是的，不得再打扰你 Right, shan't bother you again
我会告诉总机把 请勿打扰318室。 and I'll tell switchboard to put a Do Not Disturb on room 318.
318？ 318?
晚上好。 Good evening.
晚上好，先生。 你有没有发现你的眼镜吗？ Good evening, sir. Did you find your glasses?
是的，谢谢你。有'时间就在这里。 Yes, thank you. Got 'em right here.
不要忘记任何东西， 我们是吗，先生？ Not forgetting anything else, are we, sir?
不，不，我不应该这么认为。 No, no, I shouldn't think so.
至少他打领带。 特别的家伙。 MAN: - At least he's wearing a tie. - Extraordinary fellow.
早晨好。 Good morning.
哈利·迪恩，你监视我？ Harry Deane, are you spying on me?
没有，一点都没有。 这只是，引诱Shabandar， No, not at all. It's just that seducing Shabandar,
我最后一次检查， 是不是我们的计划的一部分。 last I checked, was not part of our plan.
嗯，就像妈妈常说的话， Well, like Momma always used to say,
刮它，如果它痒， 即使是在你的裤子。 scratch it if it itches, even if it's in your britches.
小姐，我已经有足够的 你母亲的格言的话语。 Miss, I've had sufficient of your mother's gnomic utterances.
放松，哈利。 Relax, Harry.
面对现实吧，我们的小计划 是不完全运作。 Face it, our little plan ain't exactly operational any more.
你错了。 You're wrong.
听着... Look...
我们要在这里有一次短暂的交谈。 你看，有两种人。 We gotta have a little talk here. See, there's two kinds of people.
有喜欢梅西大 交易和大轿车和礼仪'， There's people like Lionel with big deals and big cars and manners an' all,
有像我们这样的人。 and there's people like us.
看看你，跑来跑去 所有绝望和繁琐的， Look at you, running around all desperate and cockamamie,
假装你会 梅西一个极大美元。 pretending like you're gonna take Lionel for a gazillion dollars.
好了，哈利·迪恩， 这是不会发生的。 Well, Harry Deane, it ain't gonna happen.
你不是梅西， 为什么你会想是什么？ You're not Lionel, and why would you wanna be?
你有你自己的东西， You got your own thing going on,
与所有的艺术 和你的美丽的小画。 with all your art and your beautiful little painting.
但是你要退出 是你没有的东西。 But you gotta quit trying to be something you're not.
这是确定的，你知道。 你是你是... OK。 It's OK, you know. You being you is... is OK.
你看，我了解某些 不可预见的皱纹在我的计划 Look, I understand how certain unforeseen wrinkles in my plans
串谋减少 你对我的信任。 have conspired to diminish your confidence in me.
考虑可能 还有一个义务， Consider that you might still have an obligation,
产生可观的费用， having incurred considerable expense,
已质押 一定程度的合作 having pledged a degree of cooperation
并具有... 伤了我的个人 and having... having wounded me personally
，友善交往与一个人 他不值得你的尊重， by fraternising with a man who does not deserve your respect,
他是一个玩世不恭的机械手 那些不那么强大的 who's a cynical manipulator of those less powerful
是一个退化裸体主义者。 and who's a degenerate nudist at that.
我见过的唯一的人疲惫地轮 伦敦在他们的内衣就是你的。 Only person I've seen traipsing round London in their underwear is you.
这是不是问题的关键。 That is not the point.
你肯定有漂亮的眼睛 一个小伙子从来不笑的人。 You sure do have nice eyes for a fella who never smiles.
太糟糕了，你都包裹起来 在你的疯狂计划。 Too bad you're all wrapped up in your crazy scheme.
，也许你ungrit你的牙齿 一点点，每一次在一段时间内。 Maybe you could ungrit your teeth a little bit every once in a while.
OK，我明白了。 OK, I get it.
我觉得它的麻烦，但... 我会一起玩在Lionel的聚会， I think it's trouble, but... I'll play along at Lionel's party,
如果这是你想要的。 if that's what you want.
是的，是的。谢谢您，夫人， 这是我问。 Yes, yes. Thank you, madam, that is all I ask.
过了今晚，我敢肯定，你应 理由佩服的技能 I'm certain after tonight, you shall have reason to admire the skills
脱胎换骨，注入新的活力 而令人惊讶的能力哈利·迪恩。 of a reborn, reinvigorated and surprisingly capable Harry Deane.
如果你这样说。 If you say so.
(CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS)
给你的非常美好的夜晚。 你是最欢迎的。 MAN 1: Very good evening to you. MAN 2: You're most welcome.
谢谢。 Thank you.
这是在生命的时刻 定义一个人的。 MAJOR: There are moments in a life that define a man.
这是迪恩的。 This was Mr Deane's.
他是如雨后春笋般涌现的行动 He was sprung for action
但完全有能力 完全吹。 and yet perfectly capable of blowing it completely.
在这里，我们走了。 Here we go.
ZOWIE。 Zowie.
这是画的吗？ 绘画在箱子。 - This the painting? - Painting's in the crate.
这是我的的画架，所以我可以去看看 在血腥的事情。 This is my easel so I can have a look at the bloody thing.
拆箱的画在画廊。 我会看它。 Uncrate the painting in the gallery. I'll look at it up there.
托管得到保持的嘉宾名单。 没有迹象表明Zaidenweber，感谢上帝。 Managed to get hold of the guest list. No sign of Zaidenweber, thank God.
你应该去，少校。 没有理由把自己的风险。 You should go, Major. No reason to put yourself at risk.
你知道在哪里可以找到我。 You know where to find me.
祝你好运，旧事。 Good luck, old thing.
("MOONLIGHT SERENADE" BY GERSHWIN)
你好。 晚上好。 - Howdy. - Good evening.
嘿，你好。大口罩。 谢谢。 - Hey, there. Great mask. - Thank you.
你好。 晚上好。 - Hi. - Good evening.
(GROWLS)
我很高兴，你可以把它 I'm so glad you could make it
你决定 完善我们的小交易。 and that you've decided to consummate our little transaction.
也许你会允许我这样做 我们同其他小事。 Perhaps you might allow me to do the same with our other little affair.
您可以尝试所有你想要的，简陋的。 You can try all you want, Shabby.
寒酸。 Shabby.
Shabandar山！ 哦，基督。 - Shabandar-san! - Oh, Christ.
这是我，查克。 It is I, Chuck.
我们要感谢你为扩展 We wish to thank you for extending
你的热情款待 您额外大房子。 of your hospitality of your extra-big house.
哦，是的，相当。高兴极了。 我看你设法找到了吧。 Oh, yes, quite. Delighted. I see you managed to find the bar.
如果你饿了， 那边有一个大的老蔓延。 And if you're hungry, there's a big old spread over there.
我们的男孩莱昂内尔拿出浑身解数。 Our boy Lionel pulled out all the stops.
非常感谢，：女士Puzkoza。 Many thanks, Ms Puzkoza.
(SPEAKS JAPANESE)
嘿，哈利。 哦，狄尔尼。 - Hey, Harry. - Oh, Deane.
他们可能会认为 你很奇怪，梅西， They probably think you're pretty strange too, Lionel,
如果你是一个裸体主义者'所有。 what with you being a nudist an' all.
什么与我是个什么呢？ What with my being a what?
一个裸体主义者。 没有错，是吗？ PJ: - A nudist. - Nothing wrong with that, is there?
该死的，没有。我认为 它是真正的放松会赤身裸体。 Hell, no. I think it's real relaxing going naked.
你说的是什么鬼？ What the devil are you talking about?
我理解你说，一旦 您参加了的伊甸园撤退。 I understood you to have said once that you attended the Eden Retreat.
这不是一个裸体主义者的集会。 有人一直有你。 That isn't a nudist gathering. Somebody's been having you on.
这是一个最正式的聚会 你能想象。 It's one of the most formal gatherings you could imagine.
再次，狄尔尼， 你有事情屁股向后。 Once again, Deane, you have things arse backwards.
我明白了，先生。我向你道歉。 算了吧。 - I understand, sir. I apologise. - Just forget it.
迪恩...我们真正需要的 有一个私人的谈话。 Deane... we really need to have a private talk.
也有一些 我要与你讨论。 There is something I have to discuss with you.
你的男生让你的肚子满？ You boys get your bellies full?
高炉，在这里，他们再次光临。 我宁可不要与他们交谈。 Blast, here they come again. I would rather not have to talk to them.
我们就不能做生意？ 我能照顾好这些老男孩。 - Can't we just do business? - I can take care of these old boys.
而我只是弹出 检查的油画。 And I shall just pop up and examine the painting.
先生们。 发现了一些营养，我明白了。 Gentlemen. Found some nourishment, I see.
你的男生听到的一件小事 称为活卡拉OK吗？ Have you boys heard of a little thing called live karaoke?
(SPEAK JAPANESE)
♪ How lucky can one guy be?
♪ I kissed her and she kissed me
♪ Like a fella once said
♪ Ain't that a kick in the head?
♪ The room was completely black
谢谢您，先生们。这会做。 Thank you, gents. That'll do.
嗯。 Hmm.
哇！让我来告诉你 德州一点点有关。 Whoo! Let me tell you a little bit about Texas.
♪ The stars at night are big and bright
♪ Deep in the heart of Texas
♪ The prairie sky is wide and high
yippee的爱！ Yippee-ai!
♪ Deep in the heart of Texas
这是我的孩子们！ 在得克萨斯州的心脏深处！ That's my boys! Deep in the heart of Texas!
假设我达成交易， 我们可以得出你的呢？ Assuming I close this deal, may we conclude yours as well?
画到了，是吗？ The painting arrived, yes?
哈利告诉你 他要看看吧。 Harry told you he was going to take a look at it.
不，他没有。 我的安全的，你看。 No, he couldn't have. My security's on, you see.
你的安全吗？ Your security?
这是一个很巧妙的系统。 我梦见了我自己。 It's quite an ingenious system. I dreamt it up myself.
我希望他不会傻到 涨了。 I hope he's not stupid enough to have gone up there.
再说， 我们正在谈论迪恩。 Then again, we are talking about Deane.
(MEOWS)
(GROWLS)
哦。妈的。 Oh. Shit.
离我远点。 Go away.
没有，有没有必要的。 (GROWLS) - No, there's no need for that.
现在，停止它。 Now, stop it.
停止它。哦！ Stop it. Oh!
哈利？ PJ: Harry?
该死的。 Damn.
OK，哈利， 我要带他走。 OK, Harry, I'm gonna have to take him down.
雅！来吧，大男孩！ Ya! Come on, big boy!
坏狮子！坏狮子！来吧！ Bad lion! Bad lion! Come on!
脚跟！来吧！ Heel! Come on!
这项交易。 To the deal, then.
(SPEAKS JAPANESE)
万岁！ ALL: Banzai!
哦！ ALL: Oh!
(GROANS)
嗯，就是这样。 Well, that's that.
你确定他是安全的吗？ 这是一个双重的奶奶。 - Are you sure he's secure? - That's a double granny.
他不能工作的。 He can't work out of that.
女士Puznowski， 你的时间是无可挑剔的。 Ms Puznowski, your timing is impeccable.
谢谢。 Thank you.
我可以处理任何 有四条腿。 I can handle anything that's got four legs.
一旦你旅行的时间了，他们肉汁。 Once you trip 'em up, they're gravy.
正如你妈妈说的话。 - As your momma used to say. (GROWLS)
我要得到别人 对付他。 I'm going to get somebody to deal with him.
嘿，寒碜。 Hey, Shabby.
在地球上，你去过了吗？ Where on earth have you been?
嗯... Well...
神，狄尔尼， 这是典型的。 God, Deane, this is so typical of you.
你在做什么地球上的俊秀 在这里造成滋扰？ What on earth were you doing larking about up here creating a nuisance?
超过滋扰， 一场血腥的危险情况。 More than a nuisance, a bloody dangerous situation.
PJ很可能已被打伤， 一切并没有结束。 PJ could well have been mauled, and all to no end.
几乎没有尽头。这是我的工作，以确保 集合中的完整性。 Hardly to no end. It is my job to ensure the integrity of the collection.
对不起，迪恩，这是不是你的工作。 LIONEL: Sorry, Deane, it isn't your job.
对不起，必须打破它给你 这样， Sorry to have to break it to you like this,
但我们敲它的头。 but we're knocking it on the head.
我有一个新的人。 这是一个血淋淋的家务，雇用他。 I've got a new man. It was a bloody chore hiring him.
我不得不提前了他两年的工资。 I had to advance him two years' salary.
Zaidenweber？ Zaidenweber。 - Zaidenweber? - Zaidenweber.
我很高兴地检查。 I am pleased to inspect.
好，但我不认为你...... 站了下来，迪恩。 - Fine, but I hardly think you're... - Stand down, Deane.
它是如何看的，马丁？ 你说什么？ How does it look, Martin? What do you say?
JA。几乎令人难以置信。 Ja. Almost incredible.
几乎令人难以置信。 Almost incredible.
但是...... But...
是啊。 Yeah.
这幅画是为了。 The painting is in order.
它的美丽，不是吗？ 嗯，嗯。 - It's beautiful, isn't it? LIONEL: - Hm-hmm.
笔触。厚涂颜料。 MARTIN: The brush strokes. The impasto.
一切都只是很 它应该是。 Everything is just quite the way it should be.
有一些事情 你可以不假，。 And there are certain things that you cannot phoney up.
总的描述，也许，但 不错指纹图谱技术，不， Gross depiction, maybe, but the finer fingerprints of technique, no,
绝对不行，你不能没有。 absolutely not, you cannot, no.
我的意思是，这是，我不得不说， 真的很血腥的奇妙。 I mean, this is, I have to say, really quite bloody marvellous.
这是真实的。 This is authentic.
现在，你可以做检查 直到你的睾丸是天蓝， Now, you can do tests until your testicles are cerulean blue,
但毫无疑问，在我的脑海里。 but there is no doubt in my mind.
那好吧，那么。 胡说八道。 LIONEL: - Alright, then. - Bollocks.
对不起吗？ 胡说八道。 - I beg your pardon? - Bollocks.
请原谅我吗？ Excuse me?
任何人的眼睛可以看到的 出了什么错在这里。 Anyone with an eye can see that something is amiss here.
什么是魔鬼吗？ What the devil are you...?
哈利！ (YELLS) - Harry!
(GASPS)
假的。 Fake.
厚涂颜料是一幅讽刺漫画 莫奈的实际刷处理， The impasto is a caricature of Monet's actual brush handling,
更微妙的是无限的。 which was infinitely more subtle.
而据我所知， 莫奈从来没有画过 And as far as I'm aware, Monet never painted over
一个相当陈腐的肖像... a rather hackneyed portrait of...
马丁。 LIONEL: Martin.
我很失望。 I'm disappointed.
(RETCHES)
想象一下我的感受。 Imagine how I feel.
奥夫Wiedersehen meine Lieblinge的。 Auf Wiedersehen, meine Lieblinge.
至于你，你要么 而聪明或不够聪明。 And as for you, you're either rather clever or not clever enough.
无论哪种方式，很明显 你是我没有进一步的使用。 Either way, it's clear that you're of no further use to me.
说到聪明，什么办法呢？ Speaking of clever, what did you expect?
挂在墙上 的拖车在得克萨斯州。 It was hanging on a wall in a trailer in Texas.
此外， 我永远不会对你有任何使用。 And besides, I was never gonna be any use to you.
好了，没有造成伤害。 Well, no harm done.
只是有点浪费时间， 仅此而已。 Just a bit of a waste of time, that's all.
好了，迪恩，对预期 Well, Deane, against expectations,
你似乎知道 你是在大约相当。 you seem to know what you're on about rather.
您将继续在工作。 You will continue in the job.
现在，如果你不介意的话...... 我想不会，先生。 - Now, if you'll excuse me... - I think not, sir.
你认为不是什么？ You think not what?
我认为这不是关于 继续在工作。 I think not regarding continuing in the job.
恐怕我不能再 提供服务 I'm afraid I can no longer render services
一个人谁愿意故意侮辱 的智慧和品德 to a man who'd wilfully insult the intelligence and moral character
这样一来一个女人，我 佩服和尊重。 of a woman I have so come to admire and respect.
你是个粗人，先生。 You are a boor, sir.
欺负。我受够了。 And a bully. And I've had enough.
所以我会收集我的包... So I'll just gather my kit...
叫你一个半道别。 ...and bid you a semi-fond farewell.
Puznowski女士，我可以看看你出去吗？ Ms Puznowski, may I see you out?
是的，你可以。 Yes, you may.
对不起。 HARRY: Excuse me.
你知道吗，哈利·迪恩， You know, Harry Deane,
一个英国人，你肯定有 一些大型老cojones。 for an Englishman, you sure do have some big old cojones.
他们说， 你不能把一个价格上的尊严， MAJOR: They say you can't put a price on dignity,
但如果可以的话，哈利·迪恩的情况下， but if you could, in Harry Deane's case,
这将是大约?11亿。 it would be approximately £11 million.
好了，没去 完全按计划进行。 Well, that didn't go exactly according to plan.
我知道这听起来很可笑来自我的， 但现在，我希望你让他买。 I know it sounds funny coming from me, but now I wish you'd let him buy it.
我只是忍不住了，你知道吗？ I just couldn't help myself, you know?
听，听。 Hear, hear.
我会补偿你的，我保证。 I'll make it up to you, I promise.
不，不，你做你的位。 我欠你的你的工资。 No, no, you did your bit. I owe you your wages.
我们在这里。 Here we are.
那么，我们在这里。 Well, here we are.
你的票。 Your tickets.
我感到遗憾的是，它的经济。 无限制。 - I regret that it's economy. - Unrestricted.
好了，再见了，哈利。 再见。 - Well, goodbye, Harry. - Goodbye.
到这里来。 PJ: Come here.
主要。 主席女士。 - Major. - Madam.
应我们的主要？ Shall we, Major?
没有问题，那么，先生？ No problems, then, sir?
安全是一个小更强硬 比我的预期。 Security was a little tougher than I'd anticipated.
但你有时间 作出这样的转变呢？ MAJOR: But you had time to make the switch?
哦，是的。 Shabandar永远不会怀疑。 DEANE: Oh, yes. Shabandar will never suspect.
美丽的工作，主要。 Beautiful work, Major.
哪一个？ 它们两者。 MAJOR: - On which one? HARRY: - Both of them.
虽然我很害怕，我不得不破坏 您的黄昏证明它是假的。 Although I'm afraid I had to destroy your Dusk to prove it was a fake.
明白了，先生。没有硬的感觉。 Understood, sir. No hard feelings.
周到的这位先生 就行了。保存我们去日本。 Thoughtful of this gentleman to make the trip. Saves us going to Japan.
先生Takagawa。 Mr Takagawa.
你好，哈利。 你好，查理。 - Hello, Harry. HARRY: - Hello, Charlie.
您好，主要。一切都还好吗？ Hello, Major. Everything alright?
一切都按计划进行。 你说得对，迪恩先生。 - Everything according to plan. - Right you are, Mr Deane.
非常好。 - Very good. (SPEAKS JAPANESE)
先生Takagawa要感谢你。 Mr Takagawa wants to thank you.
他说，他一直在等待18年， 为了这一刻。 He says he has been waiting 18 years for this moment.
不尽然。很高兴有做到了。 (SPEAKS JAPANESE) - Not at all. Pleasure to have done it.
(SPEAK JAPANESE)
哦，是的。 Oh, yes.
我很聪明。但看看。 I'm clever. But look.
莫奈。 Monet.
难以仿制。虽然毫无疑问 的版本满足Shabandar。 Inimitable. Though no doubt your version will satisfy Shabandar.
(SPEAKS JAPANESE)
他向我保证 转移已经取得进展。 He assures me the transfer has been made.
现在，这笔钱应该是 在您的瑞士帐户。 The money should now be in your Swiss account.
优秀。 喂？ - Excellent. MAJOR: - Hello?
少校？ Major?
它的经历。 It's gone through.
好多 不是有指望它。 So much better than having to count it all.
我已经得到了这一切bollocksed了 之前，我有一千万。 I'd have got it all bollocksed up before I got to ten million.
谢谢您，先生们。 谢谢你，哈利。 - Thank you, gentlemen. - Thank you, Harry.
有没有人给你什么 在船上，我们的航班？ Has anyone given you anything to take on board our flight?
不，夫人。 谢谢。 - No, ma'am. - Thank you.
哦，哈利·迪恩。 Oh, Harry Deane.
你会看到 她得到我们欠了她什么？ HARRY: You'll see she gets what we owe her?
当然可以，先生。 我们应该提升她的票吗？ MAJOR: Certainly, sir. And should we upgrade her ticket?
是的，我们为什么不呢？ Yes, why don't we?
位的奢侈。 哦，好。 - Bit of an extravagance. - Oh, well.
你会如何解释呢？ How will you explain it?
你知道我的，主要的。 我会想办法。 You know me, Major. I'll think of something.
看中你的手在尝试毕加索吗？ Fancy trying your hand at Picasso?
你认为我们会发现一个使用它吗？ MAJOR: Do you think we'd find a use for it?
似乎唐纳德·特朗普 痴迷的家伙。 HARRY: Seems Donald Trump is obsessed with the fellow.
有许多在得克萨斯州的亿万富翁。 And there's many a billionaire in Texas.
先生迪恩。 MAJOR: Mr Deane.
哦，是的，少校。 机会是无限的。 HARRY: Oh, yes, Major. The opportunities are endless.
♪ How lucky can one guy be?
♪ I kissed her and she kissed me
♪ Like a fella once said
♪ Ain't that a kick in the head?
♪ The room was completely black
♪ I hugged her and she hugged back
♪ Like a sailor said, quote, "Ain't that a hole in the boat?"
♪ My head keeps spinning
♪ I go to sleep and keep grinning
♪ If this is just the beginning
♪ My life is gonna be beautiful
♪ She's telling me we'll be wed
♪ She's picked out a king-size bed
♪ I couldn't feel any better
♪ Or I'd be sick
♪ Tell me quick
♪ Oh, ain't that a kick?
♪ Tell me quick
♪ Ain't that a kick in the head?
("RODEO" BY ROBBY ARMSTRONG)